True Life...I am being driven crazy by neighbors!

I am ready to move! 

 Not because my house is way to small, not because mostly everything is rigged in some way or another, or that I don't have a bath tub, or dishwasher.  Nope none of those things,  its because I seriously can not stand the sight of my neighbors.  I feel like a prisoner in my own home, and I have no idea what to do about it.  Just looking in their general direction makes me want to throw-up.  I am to my limit.  I take the blame for that.  I am the one that helped them way to much,  Because I am a nice person.  This is a story about people, people who take advantage of nice people.  People that expect things handed down to them.  A story of me caring a little to much! 

This saga all started a little over a year ago.  I saw that we were getting new neighbors, and when I envision neighbors I think about having friends, have BBQ's, forming a great friendships. 

 

 

Not the judgemental pot smoking mooch that I ended up with!  I know you are asking yourself, what if they read this? I for one do not care about that.  I hope they do read it, and don't worry they wont, because I finally changed the wifi password. 

Anyway, this saga all started about a year and a half ago, it was a cold winter night in February.  There was a snow storm, I remember this well, because it was the night I made one of the worst mistakes I have ever made in my life. A decision I beat myself up about everyday.  Saying yes to the neighbors. The neighbor boy came over and asked if he could have the password to the wifi . I gave it away.  Like it was nothing.  I fell for his story.  He had me at hello.  He was super polite, gave this story about how they had just moved and hadn't had their Internet hooked up.  He just needed the password until then.  Sure I thought!  No problem.  Of course I would love to help you out.  Why should kids these days have to live without such things as Netflix and internet.  My friends told me I was stupid.  That she would never pay.  I wanted to prove them wrong.  And what harm could be done.  If she didn't pay I would just change the password. Well the days turned to weeks, and one cold evening I was getting super pissed off about the situation.  I knocked on her door and asked what her plans were for the Internet and how much longer she planned on using it for free.  She said that she had just moved, and was working to get in a better spot and once she was she would be hooking up her own stuff.   I could understand that.  Dan and I have worked hard to have things.  Including the Internet.  I just got a computer 2 years ago, which would be the first time we had Internet at the house.   We worked hard to have those things, so I believed her!  She said in the meantime she would pay for every other month of usage.  Of course starting with next month.  I walked away feeling pretty good about that conversation.  I had showed her.  HA.  Little did I know I would soon be trapped in my home!

 

 

 

Like any family we were anxious to get outside. It was warm and nice. As the nice months moved on I started to get to know the mom, who I will be referring to as moocher. She seems nice, and works hard.  Loves her kids, and had to work lots of terrible hours.  So I start to help out a little more.    Feeding the kids dinner, letting the little one come over and play.  Getting more involved in their family, even stupidly giving money to her when she seemed to have none.  Again I fell for the story. And still no internet, talk of internet, or talk of payment for said internet.  I didn't want to bring it up, I still thought she would try and pay.  When she got back on her feet. 

While writing this I do feel sorry for the kids. They really believe that their mom is going to get a nice brand new car for the newly 16 year old, a new phone, build a garage, put up a fence in the yard, get a nice pool...  they believe all of it. Why would they not.  The kids are just victims of bad parenting.  They were never shown the proper way to act.  How to give a simple thank you, or be grateful for a ride to school in the winter.   I was starting to see through her bullshit.  I had been doped.  I was such an idiot, and just plain annoyed. 

The moocher will NEVER make a spare key to their home, and refuses to leave the key out for her son when he gets home from school.   I cant explain how many times Dan has had to break the 15 year old into his own house,  or how many times they have knocked on our door at all times of day and night to use my phone to call the moocher that will not make a key.  This is probably one of the most irritating things about them.  I was starting to see her for what she was.  She would work overnights and still not have a simple house phone for the kids. What if something were to happen, what if she needed them.  I know she tells them when she is gone working if you need something, go ask Dan and Nicole.  I will be out on my swing TALKING on my phone and they will ask to use it.  Never giving a thank you.  Sometimes the people will call back on my number, or leave a message or a text.  Which I then have to deliver to them!!  Can you even believe it!   Dan and I joke that they would come over and ask for the clothes off our back without batting an eye.  But truthfully I think they really would.

A couple of times I would go over and sit with her in the summer months.  Listen to her complain about the money she didn't have.  How is was her mothers fault her children behaved like assholes.  How in her former life she was a model, and had wonderful credit.  She was able to buy everything she wanted.  How she didn't really believe in drinking, and at one point said she was uncomfortable with me drinking around her children... all while smoking a joint. (I will let you form your own opinions about that statement)  I knew her stories were embellished and lies.  But really, the lies didn't hurt me if people want to lie to make themselves feel better that fine with me.  I knew she was never going to get a new car for her son, or get a huge pool for her yard.  I knew she wasn't a super successful model in her previous life, I didn't care if she wanted to tell such stories.  All the while she was telling stories to me.  About how she was going to pay me for this and that!   Those stories I believed.  I still have no idea why.

 

School started up in the fall. I had agreed to take this kids to school, because for 1, I am always late.  I am late for everything, which in turn has made my kiddos late for school an unreasonable amount of times.  (No, I am not a perfect mother) So, I thought this was great to get me going in the morning, and 3 of the 4 kids were going to the same spot.  I just dropped the older one off at high school and be on my way to work.  It was easy, I could do this.  This lasted a couple of weeks, then I started going to back to my old ways of being late.  Which my kids are used to, we leave at the last minute.  Its normal for me and my family.  The neighbor kids found it to be unacceptable, they would knock on my door, asking if I was ready.  I was doing them a favor!  They were definitely  old enough to walk, one being in high school and the other in 3rd grade.  I was trying to be nice!  There were mornings where it was terribly cold.  I had had enough one day when the moocher sent me a text me saying that I needed to get the kids up to school earlier, because her little one was missing breakfast.  I wrote back saying that the rides are on MY schedule. If she needs to be up at the school earlier, then get her up there.  She wrote back some sob story about how she was working overnights, and she wasn't able to get home to take them to school.. blah, blah, blah.  I can not even write one of her stories again.  They are terrible.  She was actually making me feel bad about the ride situation.  I had to be down right rude with her.  There would be no more rides, no more money given, no more dinner made.  I was done with this.  Not only are you a mooch, but one of the most ungrateful families I had ever met.  I knew that it was not long to have the Internet talk. 

There had been several times, maybe 3-4, that the kids had come over knocked on my door and complained that the Internet was not fast enough, or that it wasn't working correctly.  IT WAS FREE!! Its like complaining about the channels you were getting after accidentally getting free cable for months (which I hear has happened)   ITS FREE!!!  At this point I was DONE.  I sent a text to her that I would be changing the password if she was not going to give money like she had originally agreed to It had almost been 8 months.. I wrote that not only did I feel disrespected because of her kids but by her.  Never a thank you, never an offer to take my kids to school on the days she wasn't working (like she had agreed to).  Never an apology for her kids coming over complaining that I was running late, or that the internet was not working to their liking. She responded that she didn't need help from anyone, she would take care of her family, and the Internet was definitely not a priority and she didn't have money to pay for it right now.  So that was it.  I got smart and changed the password, and the winter months were wonderful.  I didn't have to give rides, and there were very few visits from them.   The kids would come over and use my phone, every once in a while.  Always when I was talking on it.  But that was about it.  It was wonderful not having to talk to them, or listen to her lies.  

Then once again, winter turned to spring, and they started coming out more.  They talked to us more, and started to inch their way back in.  After this long winter I was able to hear all of the stories about how she still had no money, no internet, no cable, she was having more problems with child A being disrespectful and greedy.  I got to hear the story about how she got Child #1 a phone, and he managed to rack up over $700.00 in fees and she was paying on that now.  How she was moving to Montana, and her family treats her terrible. There was this really good story about how her landlord would not let her have her two dogs inside, and wouldn't let her get internet or cable. ( I know that is a lie)  The list was endless.  She started needing more.  One evening she came over knocking on my door at 10pm, asking if she could watch the news because her landlord would not let her install cable in the house.  Last week she knocked on the door two times asking for me, and Dan said I was sleeping, he asked her what she needed and she wouldn't say.  She called me at 630 in the morning, and I didn't answer because I was sleeping.  When I wrote her back she didn't respond.   This would bring me to this weekend.  She sent me a text me Saturday evening at 12am asking if she would be able to use the internet.  She had $30.00 she would pay for this month.  I have yet to respond, even though my answer is No.  They have been home very little which is great.  But when they are home, I shut the door and lock it.  I dread every knock.  I dread every text.

Folks, this is a true story.  This is a tale of how to be a good neighbor, and not use people.  I could not even make this up!  I am a prisoner in my own home! I no longer wish for grill outs with my neighbors, I in fact no longer wish for a simple Hi and wave.  I do not want neighbors.  I want them to move.  I want to be able to sit outside and not worry about  being asked for free things. 

 

An important piece to the story is that we use our side door to go in and out of our home.  So I have a swing set up on my little cement porch.  This is where I like to sit. 

 

The only problem this is my view.  Right to the neighbors home.  When no one lived there is was no big deal, and last summer seemed to be not as big of a deal.  Now she feels is necessary to sit on her porch.  By a door they never use to enter their home.  When we are both out you can imagine how awkard it is when you are trying to get away and not talk to someone. And they have dogs, that get off their leash and pee in my yard...... I could go on and on.

 

I'm Back.....Starting with the Story of Avery

Well, where should I even being after not writing a blog for almost 2 years.   I suppose I will start with the most current situation, and one of the most hardest things I have ever been through.  Avery Danielle Schaefer.  My little fire fly!    Her story is almost amazing, and looking back it seems almost overwhelming to have been through it.  Now I know, she was put here for me!  She is the little engine that could, that would, that wont stop!

I will be the first to admit that when I found out I was pregnant with Avery it was slightly crazy.  Dan and I had not known each other for long.  Maybe 3 months.  ( I will save that for another post)  I also had Addison.  She was not even 2.  I had NO clue what I was doing.  Dan had no clue what he was doing.  He had two cats, and took really good care of the, but was that enough? I know now neither of us were ready for this roller coaster ride we were about to go on.  Avery was a wonderful pregnancy, I wouldn't say that I loved it, but I have seen a lot of women have a much worse time.  When it was time to have her I was EXCITED!  I was ready to share this love with Dan.  We were ready to meet her!

Look at me!  Excited about giving birth!  It was going to be awesome!  But after about the first 12 hours, things started going south.  She was being stubborn, she was just not ready to meet Dan and I.  But they just kept me going.  After 24 hours, I knew something was going wrong.  Addison had been so easy.  Why in the hell was this so hard?   I just kept chugging along, walking the halls, in and out of the tub, on my back, on my side.  And honestly up to that point, one of the only things I remember was that I was STARVING!  I was ready to be done.  I needed food.  Avery needed to meet us.  After 35 hours, I knew something was terribly wrong. We could hear her heart beat going down.  I BEGGED to have a C section, they said not yet.   Keep going. 



I myself couldn't breath. I was giving up.  I felt as if I just could not do it anymore.  They told me I had one more chance to push, if she didn't come, I was going in for a C-Section.  I thought to myself.  I have gone this long, tried this hard, and I knew a cheese burger was in my future, I had to meet this child.  After three hours of pushing, she decided it was time to make her appearance.  It was such a whirlwind.  She was sick, I was sick.  I asked to hold her, they said she needed to go.  We only got one picture in that moment.  Looking at this picture makes me cringe.  I don't even think she was breathing.  She was taken to the NICU at Mary Greely, I still at this point thought everything was going to be fine.  But I was tired.  I needed food and sleep.  After I woke they said she was getting worse.  She had pneumonia, and so did I.  She was not doing well.  They were going to try and manage it for a few more hours, but they were going to have to make a choice. Dan had left for not even a half an hour to get Addison when they came in and told me that she had to be taken to Blank Children's Hospital.  I was a WRECK!  I was in shock.  How could this be?  What had I done wrong.  

 





They discharged me 18 hours after having her.  We had to go to Des Moines.  I needed to be with her.  I was sick, swollen and in shock.  Upon arriving to Blank we walked in to what I like to call a horror show.  I had never seen anything like this.  They told us to make calls.  Get people here.  She was not long to be with us.  I was dying inside.   I told Dan there was no way I would be able to live a life without her.  I had just carried her for nine months.  He told me, "You have no choice. If something happens to her you still have to be Addison's mom,  you still have to be my wife."  Dan was strong.  I was a complete mess!

2 weeks went by.  Dan and I just kept taking turns visiting this fire fly.  All the time looking at her numbers.   We knew when she was having good days, we knew when things were going bad.  I was not able to hold her, feed her, or even talk to her.  Avery was a rock star.  I had to feed her through a tube, wake up in the middle of the night to pump, with no baby.  But days turned to a weeks, and after 2 agonizing weeks I was able to hold her.  It was amazing.

 

 





Every single day things got better.  They said she would be there for months.  Her lungs were clearing up, but it was going to be a slow process.  Avery was going to prove them wrong, and she did.  Day after day Dan and I returned.  Tubes were removed, she was more alert.  She was awesome!

After 1 month, they said it was time.  Time to head home! They said she was going to die.  She said NO. The They said she had to stay for months.  Avery said 1 month.  She was the little engine that said she could, she would and she did.  

 

 

Her life has been nothing but easy.  She struggled with eczema, allergies, and constantly being sick.  She is allergic to everything.  We decided to start doing allergy shots, which was terrible for both of us.  3 shots a week.    We have been doing this for almost 2 months.   She has been amazing!

Three weeks ago we scheduled Avery to have surgery to have her tonsils, adenoids, and tubes put in her ears.  I was almost making myself sick about this.  The thought of my baby going in for surgery made me cringe.  I knew that it was the right thing to do and that it was going to help her, but lets face it, we as parents do not want to have to do these things.   I was just thinking about all the pain she was going to be in, and what if something went wrong.  Even now that its over it makes me anxious writing about it.  I hated it!  But I was once again in awe of just how damn strong my little fire fly is.  She was scared, she didn't want to go, I didn't want to see her go.  I just could not think of doing this again.  And it was sad, and there were parts that sucked. I hated watching her go through it.

 

 

They surgery seemed to take years, in reality it was about a half an hour.  When they brought her back they said she was going to be irritable and weird, and she was.  She was crawling on my head one minute, and sleeping the next.

 

Why did I even think she would have any problems having this surgery.  Why in the world would I have ever thought she was going to nothing less than awesome.  She has endured have a million ear infections, and her tonsils basically touching every day! Her hearing was so bad, it was as if she was living under water.  She has been getting three shots in her arms for almost 10 weeks, and suffered from eczema her whole life.  She is a fire fly.  She is challenging, and smart, and funny and awesome!

 

And she helped me be awesome.  She helped me not have so much damn anxiety all the time.  She helped me be a rock star! 

She did fine, and was eating a full meal the same night.  She didn't want pain meds, and just wanted ice water.  We got through it.  She was amazing, and wanted nothing more than to go back to school.  And she did.  Just 4 days later.   The ONLY thing the fire fly complained about was that everything was to loud. 

 She is one of the strongest ladies I know.  I am amazed that I am her mother!  I am lucky to be her mother!  She is nothing short of a miracle.  She is a fire fly.  She is the little engine that could, would, and will not stop.  

  

Can someone please get me a Xanax? I just took my kids to a parade!

What great weather we are having this week! I thought to myself.  I think that I will take the kids to the St Pats parade in Des Moines!  Its so nice out, and I know they would have to much fun!  Then after we get done with that we can move right into adult time! I should have known based on the last time I took the kids to a parade that it just gets ugly really fast!  Next time I even THINK about taking the girls to a parade I have requested that Dan punch me directly in my neck!  The fun that the kids have it not even worth half of the anxiety I feel!  I dont know if I you have ever noticed but parades never look nearly as glamorus as they do on T.V.   They alway look so awesome and fun, then you come to Iowa.  Our parades are full of bad clothing choices, people blowing smoke in your kids faces, and garbage everywhere! 

On T.V.

REALITY!

First of all you have to get there about three hours early just to get a good spot, and in the end it doesn't really even matter because all of the slackers do not give two shits that you just sat there for three hours listening to your kids whine and complain that they have to go potty and are bored.They don't care that  you just sat there for three hours yelling at your children to stop running around, because they are so bored to tears they just run around in circles.  They just show up late, straight from the trailer and crowd your area.  At first all of this seems very innocent, but it quickly turns into a war zone! 

Finally the parade begins... you think that you will be able to sit in your chair and let your kids do the work for the candy but you are sadly mistaken if you think that can happen.  I will never forget the first time we took Addison to a parade it was a total nightmare!  She is so laid back and would bend down to pick up a piece of candy and before she could even blink some kid snatced it right out from under her.  At one point all of these kids were getting candy and I look down and see Addison chasing a wrapper!  Poor thing was scrambling for an empty candy wrapper.  It was from that moment on I knew I had to step in and teach my kids how to get the candy they have rightfully worked for.  So I send the girls up to the front and they are constantly being pushed back my 14 year old screaming for beads.  Which leads me to my first point...  when your children are above the age of 10 or 11 they are done with parades.  If they are in their own area without little ones around fine, but when they are standing next to little kids trying to get one stinking piece of candy they need to SIT down or find another place.  They should not be stepping in front of the kids or taking candy from them.  I seriously have to stand out there in the front row with my children and basically barricade an area for them so it is safe for them to pick up one stupid piece of bubblegum.  I look like and idiot!  I do not enjoy doing this, but I have two little girls who are very sensitive and will immediately start crying when someone swipes something from them.  Or look at me in tears when they can not see what is going on and missed a chance for a free find god pamphlet.  On the same note if you do have a little one, they need to know what their "area" is for getting candy.  I have seen kids running up and down the block swiping candy and running it back to their parents and then heading out for me.  Just please make your kids aware of the babies.  Please do not let your kids get greedy and have a million pieces.  I have made my kids give a piece of candy to another child if it was not in their area, and at first it was miserable for them.  But at this parade they did something that made me just about fall over in my chair, and handed the candy to the child that was there first without being told.  Avery was so proud of herself for doing so she looked and me with an ear to ear grin!  That was a much better reward then having a million pieces of candy! 

As long as we are on the topic of candy... is it really that hard to pick up your freaking trash??  I mean really.  Just allowing your kids to throw all of this trash on the ground is just plain ridiculous!!  The streets are always FILLED with trash after a parade, and its crazy!  So many people lack common curtiosy to throw something away when they are  done.  Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I am trying to teach my kids how to be good citizens.  And when they walk the streets seeing nothing but trash it doesn't really set a good example.

And once again I will say this... GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!  I swear I see numerous people walking along the parade almost IN it talking on the phone.  I did not come here to watch you talk on your phone.  You look like an asshole.  I can imagine the conversation going something like this..  "hey I cant hear you, what do you have a parade going through there?"  "why yes I do"  Seriously, if you want to talk on your phone go find a spot.  I hate you for doing this and I haven't even met you! 

I am really glad there are not to many parades to attend.  I don't think that I could handle more than one or two a summer.  And yes folks, these are the the times that Dan is just plain lucky to have me!!  I mean without me he would just be able to sit in his chair and enjoy a parade.  Sometimes when I am up there defending my children I look back and he is no where to be found.  I always seem to lose him somewhere between my complaining about everyone and everything around me, and my defensive linebacker stance to hold the other kids off!  I have no idea why!  I don't think he will ever appreciate how smart I really am!

What does it really take to be a good friend?

I know that we were all taught at a very young age what it means to be a good friend at a very young age.  I see Addison coming home with notes all the time about being kind, honest, reliable, and having patience.  But now that I am approaching 30 years old I feel like a LOT of people missed that memo!

When you were 6 your friendships with people were all about who could get outside first.  You didn't have to worry about if your friend was talking about you behind your back, or what they were going to post about you on Facebook.  It was all about who got to the swings first.  If you had a cool hat and glove set.  That was a true friend.  Even when you were six you knew that if someone cut in line in front of you, or made fun of your backpack that you didn't want to be around them.  You came home and told your mom that.  And when it came time to write out Valentines you asked your mom if you could skip that person.  I'm hoping that your mom told you that you need to write one anyway because it "the right thing to do" 

When you were 14 there was a WHOLE different class of friendship.  It was about surviving.  About being the COOLEST you could be.  If your mom bought you the coolest jeans and shoes than you were the BEST!  And if she didn't you did your best to get by.  (my mom has shopped at Goodwill my whole life, and being a mother myself, I am grateful)  It was about who you were going to skate with on the moonlight.  And when that person said they weren't going to skate with you, it was about being a good friend to the heart broken girl who felt like their whole life was over.  Letting your friend listen to the saddest song ever made and telling them you know how they feel.  Talking to them about your first kiss, and how you felt.

When you were 21 the best friend you could have had was about who held your hair back.  The person who let you  have a one night stand, but then the next day asked you what in the hell you were thinking.  It didn't matter if they thought the guy was a DOG, they were just there to pick you up in the morning.  The didn't care how shitfaced you got the night before, and what mean shit you said.  Because they couldn't remember what happened either. 

To me those simple things mattered.  That's how I knew what a good friend was.  To me Being 30 years old I need more than someone to hold my hair back or tell me my mom is cool is.  I need a FRIEND.  I need Honesty, reliability, respect, patience, forgiveness.


I used to be the girl that had a MILLION friends.  I could call and talk to anyone. But now that I am married with children... there are very few people that I would even consider a friend.  There are people that I am talk to about my kids, there are people I can talk to about work, there is my husband who get most ALL of the shit I want to talk about.  And then there are my FRIENDS!

At 30 a friendship seems to become a little more complicated I guess.  I recently went out to the bars with a few "friends"  there was no one to hold my hair back, there was no one to tell me my outfit was "not cool" enough.  To be honest with you there was NO ONE.  So I just wanted to talk a little about good friendship quality's.  Things to me that I want in a friendship.

Reliability:  A true friend is someone you can rely on.  Someone that will answer your calls when at 12 am when you have had a few drinks and are living on the edge and want to talk to someone about how stupid your husband is.   Someone that will answer your call  at 4am when your Grandma died and you don't know how to handle it.  Someone that knows that what you are going to say before you say it!

Honesty:  Someone who is going to tell you how stupid you are even when they know it will hurt your  feelings.  Someone who will tell you that you that you made a really bad parenting move even when you don't want to hear it.  Someone that will disagree with you even when they know they hate that you HATE when people disagree with you.

Respect:  A true friend is someone that respects the person that you are.  They respect you enough to not leave you at a bar.  They respect your decisions, even if your  wrong.  They stand behind you.  If you hate someone, then so do they. (this is something I have struggled with, but I am working on it)  They respect you enough to know that when you have a "tiff" you are still friends in the morning.  You just FINIAL LY agree to disagree!

Patience:  A true friend is patient with you.  They know you are crazy, and they let you be that way. They  are patient with how annoying you are.  And they KNOW the things that trip your trigger and they try to avoid them.  Having patience with your craziness.  Patience with every time you call for a problem.   Even if it was the same problem you called about before.  Patience to hear about about fricking cute your kids are, or how sweet your boyfriend was. 

But looking back on what I wrote... these are all the things that they taught about in the beginning.  Every person that you were friends with taught you something about life.  They were your friend during that time for a reason.... but NOW, when it isn't about getting to the swings first, having the coolest jeans, or holding your hair back, are they really GOOD friends?  When it comes time to fight.. would they hold your legs back when you are pushing out a baby, would they stand behind you in a divorce, would they treat your kids like they were they own?  I mean would a "good" friend leave you at a bar? 

Are you for real serious?

When you are in line at the grocery store, or out to eat, or taking your kids to school do you ever just look around at other people and think to yourself... ARE YOU SERIOUS?  No, I don't mean what they are wearing or what they look like, just their behavior in public.  I know they make these shows "what would you do?" for outrageous behavior, but what about the small things people do that make you cringe.  The people that have NO manners what so ever.  The people that make you think.  Are you for real serious right now.

I know that I am a little more judgemental on these things than the average person, but I have worked in customer service my whole life and I really do appreciate a nice please or thank you.  I don't mean from time to time.  I mean every single time I check you out, or bring you food.  Or when I hold the door open for you, or pick up your baby's shoe that was lost in aisle nine.  You really have to look at these things to notice that people just do not do this.  Dan and I am drilled, drilled, drilled please and thank you into our girls head from day one.  My four year old says thank you more than most adults that I know.  I mean for god sakes Barney even says please and thank you.  How hard is is to do this? 

I was at the store a couple of weeks ago.  One of those times I was able to go alone!  I was checking out and there was this couple in front of me with a shit load of groceries.  Took the lady a while to check them out, no big deal for me, been there done that.  When it was time to pay they paid with food stamps.  Once again no big deal.  The cashier then says "OK, the remaining balance is $2.15"  They were perplexed as to why they would have to pay money for $400.00 dollars worth of groceries.  Turns out that their Bob Marley Iced Tea was not covered by tax dollars.  I mean,  wasn't my choice as to whats covered and whats not.  I just pay the bill.  So of course the manager is called, and this whole process is really stressing the cashier out. The people just stood there as if it was expected from them to take it off the bill, not even one time offering to pay the money,  In the end the manager just made the tea free, and the people packed up their shit and walked away.  Nothing more said.  I knew that there would be no offer to pay for said tea... but walking away without saying THANK YOU!  ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!!  I know that the employees were just as stunned as I was but then went right back to work.  Because these days that behavior is normal.  I wanted to walk right behind them and smack them.  Would it really be that hard to say thank you?

I was in line at a gas station last weekend, I was behind a few people, with a few people behind me.  I would say that it was slightly busy.  The second cashier comes up and opens up the second register.  And I know that we all know the unwritten rules of this situation... you look behind you and make eye contact with the person behind you.  From there you decide who's need is greater to be next in line.  IE... pregnant ladies, elderly people, people with little ones.  I was not going to move the next register because I was not in a hurry and only had a few things.  The person that was behind me just took that spot at the second register without even thinking twice.  Didn't look to see if anyone needed to get going more than others.  Didn't even make the fake I really care, but don't eye contact.  Just went right up there.  To most people this isn't bothersome, but for me.. the POLITE POLICE it was almost to much to handle.  EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DO THE EYE CONTACT SONG AND DANCE WITH THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE!  If you didn't know... now you know.  Do it.  Its the right thing to do.  If you don't, you look like a fuck face!  I was just thinking ARE YOU FOR REAL SERIOUS?


GET OFF YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE!  Get off your cell phone when you are checking out at the store, ordering dinner, picking up your kids from school, parking your car, walking through the grocery store, well just about anything you are doing.  GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE.  There are a couple of reasons for this rule of mine. 

The first being... I do not want to hear about anything you are talking about.  I do not know you, do want want to know you, and at this point you are holding everything and everyone up.  I know that I am guilty of talking on the phone in the store but have stopped this behavior because it took me three hours to grab a couple of things.  I could not concentrate on what I was doing and found that I was walking around the store five times for one gallon of milk.  I can only imagine how annoying this was for everyone around me, and I don't even have ANYTHING remotely dramatic to talk about.  People have no shame in what they are discussing.  This simply makes me and everyone around you uncomfortable.
Reason number two.. I have had transactions with hundreds of people that go something like this.
Me- "Hi, did you find everything OK?"
Customer-(blah blah blah to friend on the phone)
Me-"The total is $5.06"
Customer- (blah blah blah to friend on phone)
Me-"Here is your change:
Customer-"blah blah blah to friend on phone)
Me- yelling "HAVE A GREAT DAY, THANKS FOR COMING IN.  HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON"

I have checked people out and they have not said one single word.  Do you know how rude that is.  Makes me feel like I am a slave or something.  All you have to do is tell your friend to hang on, or simply call them back after 3 min.   PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!  GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!

I am by no means the queen of good behavior, being polite, or even saying the right things half of the time, but I do know what it feels like to be a retail worker, or server making min wage trying to do the best you can and have people treat you like absolute garbage.  Just because I don't work in a office, or I'm not a doctor doesn't mean you can be rude as hell to me.  And just because you are an adult doesn't mean that you don't have to use your manners.  I would encourage everyone to say one more thank you a day.  Or just one time put your phone down.  Be aware of your surroundings.  Be nice to people.  Be respectful.  Please!  So next time I do not have to look at you and think...ARE YOU For Real Serious?

And just in case you are unclear....
http://users.elite.net/runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm

8 things I wish they would have told me.....

So these are just a few things that I wish someone would have told me about parenting.  They really need to make a handbook for this shit! 




1.  You will never sleep the same again.
        Not only will you not sleep for the first 3 months of your childs life, you will never be able to sleep right agian.   Every cough, wiggle, or snore will wake you up.  Even when you are away from your children.  And you can forget ever sleeping in again.  When your kids beging to get slightly self sufficient they will still wake you at a very unreasonable time.

2.   You will love your second, third.... child just as much as you love your first.
         When I was pregnant with Avery I often had thoughts about how I could ever love her nearly as much as I loved Addison.    Then I started havaing anxiety attacks because what kind of mother would ever think this?  I just didnt think it would even be possible to love Avery because I love Addison SO much.  Of course all of these crazy thoughts went away the moment I laid eyes on Avery.  You have enough love for all your kids!



3.  You will deal with poop in some really weird places. 
        So right before we were set to have Avery we started potty training Addison.  This was not my brightest idea when I was nine months pregnant, but I really wanted to ger her out of diapers.  So this one day she was playing with play dough.  After she was done I started cleaning up, and found what I thought was a little ball of it in my bed room.  It was brown, but I didnt think anything of it.  Picked it up, smushed it only to find out that it was indeed poop.  So that was one of my finest moments with poop.  But other than that ... there is poop all over clothes, in hair, in the bathtub.  Addison actually went poop in her trash can for a while.  (Dont worry we took care of this behavior) I had NO clue that raising a child would require so much SHIT (literally)!



4. You will never want to show your face in your local grocery store again.
          I feel like I should definitely be banned from the HyVee here in town.  The girls have pulled so much shit there.  And thank god that they wanted to make it ten times worse for parents by having those fucking tiny carts and those huge car carts.  I just really want to write someone a letter who thought that was a good idea.  Avery looses her damn mind whenever placed in front of these tiny carts.  And when I have both girls you can FORGET it.  I am praising someone above when we walk in and all the carts are gone.  Its like you need to have a blinker on your ass when you turn corners with the car carts.  Avery has lost all privileges to the tiny carts for the stunt she pulled a couple of months ago.  We are walking through the store and all of the sudden she starts going absolutly crazy!  She was ramming the carts into peoples heels, and running as fast as she could through the store.  She then proceeded to put anything and everything she could think of into her cart.  One of the items was an actual pork shoulder roast.  After this rampage I got down to her level and told her to knock it off in my nicest (Im in public) voice.  After she still choose this behavior I did something I never thought that I would do.... I spanked her in public.  After the spanking she she took her tiny cart and manhandeled it and dumped it over.  I blame all of this on someones choice to puts those carts in stores.

(this is not my child...but just think how cute you think he looks!)

5. People will never stop talking abtout the differences between boys and girls.
        Since I have two girls I think this is just an open dicussion for people to talk about the difference between having boys and girls.  Its like a go-to topic, like hows that weather.  I do not want to talk about the difference.  Because I have NO clue what the difference is.  I only have two girls, and only have sisters.  I would not have a clue what to do with a little boy. So would you
 please stop telling me the difference. 

 



6.  You can forget taking a shower of going to the bathroom alone again
          I feel like this probably changes as the kids get older... but for now, if  im in there doing my buisness then it is just a free for all for the whole family to come on in.  Including the cats.  (Dan does not usually partake in this get-together.)  Then while minding my own buisness trying to go number 2, they have to audacity to say... "Yuck mom, you stink"  Well my dear children.  I dont ever recall inviting you in here.  How can you come in the bathroom while I am trying to do my own thing and yell at me because my poop stinks!  This one gets me everytime!



7. When reading books to your child you will skip pages. 
           I know that I am putting myself out there by saying this..... but yes I skip pages.  Especially if its a really long book.  Some books just take way to long to get through.  I however can not do this little trick anymore because Addison knows how to read. 


8.  Kids loose their damn mind the SECOND you take a phone call
          When I take a phone call, the girls think that it is a free for all in this house.   This is about the time when they get into the bathroom and start dumping shit down the toilets  and sinks.  The last time Avery put a WHOLE roll of toliet paper down the sink.  It was clogged for days.  The best is when they get into the creams and makeup.  Addison also pulled a good one when she put thirty band aids on her body. 

I love my girls with all my heart!  And love being there mom... but there are just sometimes that drive you a little crazy!  That's just part of the deal! 

Being Fat

Being overweight is something that I have had to deal with pretty much my whole life.  Its a problem that I have always had to think about.  My first memory about being concerned about this was in 7th grade. I was going through that time when you are first getting your period and your hormones are pretty much crazy and for girls they kinda blow up.  Looking back, and now having my own kids and seeing other kids it pretty much happens to every girl.  I wish someone would have informed the 7th grade boys in my class.  I would have to say that I was pretty much tortured in middle school about being overweight.  It was the worst time ever.  I feel bad for kids that are in middle school these days.  I know what it was like to be made fun of and looked down upon because I was different looking that other girls. So, thanks a lot to all you assholes who tried to make me feel bad about myself!  Thanks for pretty much giving me a huge complex my ENTIRE life about being overweight. But this blog is NOT about me being a victim.  This is about me being a survivor and a warrior!

Let me tell you a little something about being fat.  It just all around sucks.   First of all there are NO cute clothes.  I think it is just assumed that if you are fat you want to wear looney tunes sweat shirts and pleated jeans.  I know there are stores like Layne Bryant, but I cant really afford to shop there.  I mean I just got a computer for gods sakes.   I myself am more of a Walmart, Target shopper.  When I do find something that is reasonable to go out in public in they charge an extra $2.00 because its a bigger size.  Way to give us fatties more of a complex!  I mean how would YOU feel seeing the same shirt in the Ladies section and looking at your size and its more money.  I mean am I really using $2.00 more fabric?  And why do I only have five things to choose from? The jeans that I do find are just ridiculous.  They are either WAY to long because someone of this weight should not be this short, or they are way to small around the waist.  Reason one for the weight loss is because I have stopped caring about looking cute.  I just wear things that fit, and this mostly consists of sweats and t-shirts.  I need to have some cute clothes in my life!  This my friends is why I have 200 pairs of shoes and purses.  Because they always fit, and look cute.   

When it comes to food, its pretty much over.  My dad was a chef so I was introduced to a lot of different food growing up, and I have NEVER met a food I didn't like.  Well I take that back.  I don't like bananas, and cooked carrots.  But that's about it.  I love meat, seafood, pasta, fruits, veggies.  I like good food, I love Chinese buffets, well lets be honest I love any kind of buffet.  So when I started this journey on Jan 1 I was not having a good time.  I was constantly thinking about food, and when I was going to be able to eat next.  I have finally realized that food was consuming my life.  I ate when I was hungry, I ate when I was bored, sad, mad, happy.  Now that I have been doing this for a month I feel like I have freedom.  I can eat the meals that I am supposed to and have a couple of snack and call it good for the day.  I have found a lot of good healthy food that is good for me and tastes good. And its feels really good feeding the kids healthy food.

I have tried every diet under the sun.  Its really ridiculous what women do to lose weight.  Cabbage soups for ten days, Alli which costs a lot and makes you poop your pants, starving yourself, eating only meat, eating only veggies.  I could go on and on.  But in the end the only think is going to make you healthy and lose weight is to eat right and exercise.  I wish there was some miracle pill or diet that would work but there just isn't.  And the sooner I face the facts the better off I will be.

This is me on Halloween!  NO NECK!!!!!!!

This is the neck I want back!!!!

So, I will not let people bring me down.  Or make me feel bad about myself because I know that I am doing the best that I can.  I will not beat myself up when I eat something bad or when I don't go to the gym.  Next time when I go to the gym I will try to do five min on the elliptical even though it feels like my legs are falling off.  I will also be treating myself to an Mp3 player when I lose forty pounds, because I really need to have Britney in my routine!   I WILL find my neck!

 I also wanted to let everyone know that I invested in a HyVee Recyclable bag, and it is currently going to be my new gym bag!!