Being Fat

Being overweight is something that I have had to deal with pretty much my whole life.  Its a problem that I have always had to think about.  My first memory about being concerned about this was in 7th grade. I was going through that time when you are first getting your period and your hormones are pretty much crazy and for girls they kinda blow up.  Looking back, and now having my own kids and seeing other kids it pretty much happens to every girl.  I wish someone would have informed the 7th grade boys in my class.  I would have to say that I was pretty much tortured in middle school about being overweight.  It was the worst time ever.  I feel bad for kids that are in middle school these days.  I know what it was like to be made fun of and looked down upon because I was different looking that other girls. So, thanks a lot to all you assholes who tried to make me feel bad about myself!  Thanks for pretty much giving me a huge complex my ENTIRE life about being overweight. But this blog is NOT about me being a victim.  This is about me being a survivor and a warrior!

Let me tell you a little something about being fat.  It just all around sucks.   First of all there are NO cute clothes.  I think it is just assumed that if you are fat you want to wear looney tunes sweat shirts and pleated jeans.  I know there are stores like Layne Bryant, but I cant really afford to shop there.  I mean I just got a computer for gods sakes.   I myself am more of a Walmart, Target shopper.  When I do find something that is reasonable to go out in public in they charge an extra $2.00 because its a bigger size.  Way to give us fatties more of a complex!  I mean how would YOU feel seeing the same shirt in the Ladies section and looking at your size and its more money.  I mean am I really using $2.00 more fabric?  And why do I only have five things to choose from? The jeans that I do find are just ridiculous.  They are either WAY to long because someone of this weight should not be this short, or they are way to small around the waist.  Reason one for the weight loss is because I have stopped caring about looking cute.  I just wear things that fit, and this mostly consists of sweats and t-shirts.  I need to have some cute clothes in my life!  This my friends is why I have 200 pairs of shoes and purses.  Because they always fit, and look cute.   

When it comes to food, its pretty much over.  My dad was a chef so I was introduced to a lot of different food growing up, and I have NEVER met a food I didn't like.  Well I take that back.  I don't like bananas, and cooked carrots.  But that's about it.  I love meat, seafood, pasta, fruits, veggies.  I like good food, I love Chinese buffets, well lets be honest I love any kind of buffet.  So when I started this journey on Jan 1 I was not having a good time.  I was constantly thinking about food, and when I was going to be able to eat next.  I have finally realized that food was consuming my life.  I ate when I was hungry, I ate when I was bored, sad, mad, happy.  Now that I have been doing this for a month I feel like I have freedom.  I can eat the meals that I am supposed to and have a couple of snack and call it good for the day.  I have found a lot of good healthy food that is good for me and tastes good. And its feels really good feeding the kids healthy food.

I have tried every diet under the sun.  Its really ridiculous what women do to lose weight.  Cabbage soups for ten days, Alli which costs a lot and makes you poop your pants, starving yourself, eating only meat, eating only veggies.  I could go on and on.  But in the end the only think is going to make you healthy and lose weight is to eat right and exercise.  I wish there was some miracle pill or diet that would work but there just isn't.  And the sooner I face the facts the better off I will be.

This is me on Halloween!  NO NECK!!!!!!!

This is the neck I want back!!!!

So, I will not let people bring me down.  Or make me feel bad about myself because I know that I am doing the best that I can.  I will not beat myself up when I eat something bad or when I don't go to the gym.  Next time when I go to the gym I will try to do five min on the elliptical even though it feels like my legs are falling off.  I will also be treating myself to an Mp3 player when I lose forty pounds, because I really need to have Britney in my routine!   I WILL find my neck!

 I also wanted to let everyone know that I invested in a HyVee Recyclable bag, and it is currently going to be my new gym bag!!