Are you for real serious?

When you are in line at the grocery store, or out to eat, or taking your kids to school do you ever just look around at other people and think to yourself... ARE YOU SERIOUS?  No, I don't mean what they are wearing or what they look like, just their behavior in public.  I know they make these shows "what would you do?" for outrageous behavior, but what about the small things people do that make you cringe.  The people that have NO manners what so ever.  The people that make you think.  Are you for real serious right now.

I know that I am a little more judgemental on these things than the average person, but I have worked in customer service my whole life and I really do appreciate a nice please or thank you.  I don't mean from time to time.  I mean every single time I check you out, or bring you food.  Or when I hold the door open for you, or pick up your baby's shoe that was lost in aisle nine.  You really have to look at these things to notice that people just do not do this.  Dan and I am drilled, drilled, drilled please and thank you into our girls head from day one.  My four year old says thank you more than most adults that I know.  I mean for god sakes Barney even says please and thank you.  How hard is is to do this? 

I was at the store a couple of weeks ago.  One of those times I was able to go alone!  I was checking out and there was this couple in front of me with a shit load of groceries.  Took the lady a while to check them out, no big deal for me, been there done that.  When it was time to pay they paid with food stamps.  Once again no big deal.  The cashier then says "OK, the remaining balance is $2.15"  They were perplexed as to why they would have to pay money for $400.00 dollars worth of groceries.  Turns out that their Bob Marley Iced Tea was not covered by tax dollars.  I mean,  wasn't my choice as to whats covered and whats not.  I just pay the bill.  So of course the manager is called, and this whole process is really stressing the cashier out. The people just stood there as if it was expected from them to take it off the bill, not even one time offering to pay the money,  In the end the manager just made the tea free, and the people packed up their shit and walked away.  Nothing more said.  I knew that there would be no offer to pay for said tea... but walking away without saying THANK YOU!  ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!!  I know that the employees were just as stunned as I was but then went right back to work.  Because these days that behavior is normal.  I wanted to walk right behind them and smack them.  Would it really be that hard to say thank you?

I was in line at a gas station last weekend, I was behind a few people, with a few people behind me.  I would say that it was slightly busy.  The second cashier comes up and opens up the second register.  And I know that we all know the unwritten rules of this situation... you look behind you and make eye contact with the person behind you.  From there you decide who's need is greater to be next in line.  IE... pregnant ladies, elderly people, people with little ones.  I was not going to move the next register because I was not in a hurry and only had a few things.  The person that was behind me just took that spot at the second register without even thinking twice.  Didn't look to see if anyone needed to get going more than others.  Didn't even make the fake I really care, but don't eye contact.  Just went right up there.  To most people this isn't bothersome, but for me.. the POLITE POLICE it was almost to much to handle.  EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DO THE EYE CONTACT SONG AND DANCE WITH THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE!  If you didn't know... now you know.  Do it.  Its the right thing to do.  If you don't, you look like a fuck face!  I was just thinking ARE YOU FOR REAL SERIOUS?


GET OFF YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE!  Get off your cell phone when you are checking out at the store, ordering dinner, picking up your kids from school, parking your car, walking through the grocery store, well just about anything you are doing.  GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE.  There are a couple of reasons for this rule of mine. 

The first being... I do not want to hear about anything you are talking about.  I do not know you, do want want to know you, and at this point you are holding everything and everyone up.  I know that I am guilty of talking on the phone in the store but have stopped this behavior because it took me three hours to grab a couple of things.  I could not concentrate on what I was doing and found that I was walking around the store five times for one gallon of milk.  I can only imagine how annoying this was for everyone around me, and I don't even have ANYTHING remotely dramatic to talk about.  People have no shame in what they are discussing.  This simply makes me and everyone around you uncomfortable.
Reason number two.. I have had transactions with hundreds of people that go something like this.
Me- "Hi, did you find everything OK?"
Customer-(blah blah blah to friend on the phone)
Me-"The total is $5.06"
Customer- (blah blah blah to friend on phone)
Me-"Here is your change:
Customer-"blah blah blah to friend on phone)
Me- yelling "HAVE A GREAT DAY, THANKS FOR COMING IN.  HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON"

I have checked people out and they have not said one single word.  Do you know how rude that is.  Makes me feel like I am a slave or something.  All you have to do is tell your friend to hang on, or simply call them back after 3 min.   PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!  GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!

I am by no means the queen of good behavior, being polite, or even saying the right things half of the time, but I do know what it feels like to be a retail worker, or server making min wage trying to do the best you can and have people treat you like absolute garbage.  Just because I don't work in a office, or I'm not a doctor doesn't mean you can be rude as hell to me.  And just because you are an adult doesn't mean that you don't have to use your manners.  I would encourage everyone to say one more thank you a day.  Or just one time put your phone down.  Be aware of your surroundings.  Be nice to people.  Be respectful.  Please!  So next time I do not have to look at you and think...ARE YOU For Real Serious?

And just in case you are unclear....
http://users.elite.net/runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm

8 things I wish they would have told me.....

So these are just a few things that I wish someone would have told me about parenting.  They really need to make a handbook for this shit! 




1.  You will never sleep the same again.
        Not only will you not sleep for the first 3 months of your childs life, you will never be able to sleep right agian.   Every cough, wiggle, or snore will wake you up.  Even when you are away from your children.  And you can forget ever sleeping in again.  When your kids beging to get slightly self sufficient they will still wake you at a very unreasonable time.

2.   You will love your second, third.... child just as much as you love your first.
         When I was pregnant with Avery I often had thoughts about how I could ever love her nearly as much as I loved Addison.    Then I started havaing anxiety attacks because what kind of mother would ever think this?  I just didnt think it would even be possible to love Avery because I love Addison SO much.  Of course all of these crazy thoughts went away the moment I laid eyes on Avery.  You have enough love for all your kids!



3.  You will deal with poop in some really weird places. 
        So right before we were set to have Avery we started potty training Addison.  This was not my brightest idea when I was nine months pregnant, but I really wanted to ger her out of diapers.  So this one day she was playing with play dough.  After she was done I started cleaning up, and found what I thought was a little ball of it in my bed room.  It was brown, but I didnt think anything of it.  Picked it up, smushed it only to find out that it was indeed poop.  So that was one of my finest moments with poop.  But other than that ... there is poop all over clothes, in hair, in the bathtub.  Addison actually went poop in her trash can for a while.  (Dont worry we took care of this behavior) I had NO clue that raising a child would require so much SHIT (literally)!



4. You will never want to show your face in your local grocery store again.
          I feel like I should definitely be banned from the HyVee here in town.  The girls have pulled so much shit there.  And thank god that they wanted to make it ten times worse for parents by having those fucking tiny carts and those huge car carts.  I just really want to write someone a letter who thought that was a good idea.  Avery looses her damn mind whenever placed in front of these tiny carts.  And when I have both girls you can FORGET it.  I am praising someone above when we walk in and all the carts are gone.  Its like you need to have a blinker on your ass when you turn corners with the car carts.  Avery has lost all privileges to the tiny carts for the stunt she pulled a couple of months ago.  We are walking through the store and all of the sudden she starts going absolutly crazy!  She was ramming the carts into peoples heels, and running as fast as she could through the store.  She then proceeded to put anything and everything she could think of into her cart.  One of the items was an actual pork shoulder roast.  After this rampage I got down to her level and told her to knock it off in my nicest (Im in public) voice.  After she still choose this behavior I did something I never thought that I would do.... I spanked her in public.  After the spanking she she took her tiny cart and manhandeled it and dumped it over.  I blame all of this on someones choice to puts those carts in stores.

(this is not my child...but just think how cute you think he looks!)

5. People will never stop talking abtout the differences between boys and girls.
        Since I have two girls I think this is just an open dicussion for people to talk about the difference between having boys and girls.  Its like a go-to topic, like hows that weather.  I do not want to talk about the difference.  Because I have NO clue what the difference is.  I only have two girls, and only have sisters.  I would not have a clue what to do with a little boy. So would you
 please stop telling me the difference. 

 



6.  You can forget taking a shower of going to the bathroom alone again
          I feel like this probably changes as the kids get older... but for now, if  im in there doing my buisness then it is just a free for all for the whole family to come on in.  Including the cats.  (Dan does not usually partake in this get-together.)  Then while minding my own buisness trying to go number 2, they have to audacity to say... "Yuck mom, you stink"  Well my dear children.  I dont ever recall inviting you in here.  How can you come in the bathroom while I am trying to do my own thing and yell at me because my poop stinks!  This one gets me everytime!



7. When reading books to your child you will skip pages. 
           I know that I am putting myself out there by saying this..... but yes I skip pages.  Especially if its a really long book.  Some books just take way to long to get through.  I however can not do this little trick anymore because Addison knows how to read. 


8.  Kids loose their damn mind the SECOND you take a phone call
          When I take a phone call, the girls think that it is a free for all in this house.   This is about the time when they get into the bathroom and start dumping shit down the toilets  and sinks.  The last time Avery put a WHOLE roll of toliet paper down the sink.  It was clogged for days.  The best is when they get into the creams and makeup.  Addison also pulled a good one when she put thirty band aids on her body. 

I love my girls with all my heart!  And love being there mom... but there are just sometimes that drive you a little crazy!  That's just part of the deal! 

Being Fat

Being overweight is something that I have had to deal with pretty much my whole life.  Its a problem that I have always had to think about.  My first memory about being concerned about this was in 7th grade. I was going through that time when you are first getting your period and your hormones are pretty much crazy and for girls they kinda blow up.  Looking back, and now having my own kids and seeing other kids it pretty much happens to every girl.  I wish someone would have informed the 7th grade boys in my class.  I would have to say that I was pretty much tortured in middle school about being overweight.  It was the worst time ever.  I feel bad for kids that are in middle school these days.  I know what it was like to be made fun of and looked down upon because I was different looking that other girls. So, thanks a lot to all you assholes who tried to make me feel bad about myself!  Thanks for pretty much giving me a huge complex my ENTIRE life about being overweight. But this blog is NOT about me being a victim.  This is about me being a survivor and a warrior!

Let me tell you a little something about being fat.  It just all around sucks.   First of all there are NO cute clothes.  I think it is just assumed that if you are fat you want to wear looney tunes sweat shirts and pleated jeans.  I know there are stores like Layne Bryant, but I cant really afford to shop there.  I mean I just got a computer for gods sakes.   I myself am more of a Walmart, Target shopper.  When I do find something that is reasonable to go out in public in they charge an extra $2.00 because its a bigger size.  Way to give us fatties more of a complex!  I mean how would YOU feel seeing the same shirt in the Ladies section and looking at your size and its more money.  I mean am I really using $2.00 more fabric?  And why do I only have five things to choose from? The jeans that I do find are just ridiculous.  They are either WAY to long because someone of this weight should not be this short, or they are way to small around the waist.  Reason one for the weight loss is because I have stopped caring about looking cute.  I just wear things that fit, and this mostly consists of sweats and t-shirts.  I need to have some cute clothes in my life!  This my friends is why I have 200 pairs of shoes and purses.  Because they always fit, and look cute.   

When it comes to food, its pretty much over.  My dad was a chef so I was introduced to a lot of different food growing up, and I have NEVER met a food I didn't like.  Well I take that back.  I don't like bananas, and cooked carrots.  But that's about it.  I love meat, seafood, pasta, fruits, veggies.  I like good food, I love Chinese buffets, well lets be honest I love any kind of buffet.  So when I started this journey on Jan 1 I was not having a good time.  I was constantly thinking about food, and when I was going to be able to eat next.  I have finally realized that food was consuming my life.  I ate when I was hungry, I ate when I was bored, sad, mad, happy.  Now that I have been doing this for a month I feel like I have freedom.  I can eat the meals that I am supposed to and have a couple of snack and call it good for the day.  I have found a lot of good healthy food that is good for me and tastes good. And its feels really good feeding the kids healthy food.

I have tried every diet under the sun.  Its really ridiculous what women do to lose weight.  Cabbage soups for ten days, Alli which costs a lot and makes you poop your pants, starving yourself, eating only meat, eating only veggies.  I could go on and on.  But in the end the only think is going to make you healthy and lose weight is to eat right and exercise.  I wish there was some miracle pill or diet that would work but there just isn't.  And the sooner I face the facts the better off I will be.

This is me on Halloween!  NO NECK!!!!!!!

This is the neck I want back!!!!

So, I will not let people bring me down.  Or make me feel bad about myself because I know that I am doing the best that I can.  I will not beat myself up when I eat something bad or when I don't go to the gym.  Next time when I go to the gym I will try to do five min on the elliptical even though it feels like my legs are falling off.  I will also be treating myself to an Mp3 player when I lose forty pounds, because I really need to have Britney in my routine!   I WILL find my neck!

 I also wanted to let everyone know that I invested in a HyVee Recyclable bag, and it is currently going to be my new gym bag!!