Well as most of you know I have been on a RAMPAGE to lose this weight! Its proving to be a lot harder than I would have ever thought. Its not so much the eating healthy because I have found some really good food. Its the exercising that I HATE! And its not so much the act of doing it, its how STUPID I look while doing it!
I started out at first doing the Biggest Looser Wii game at home, and this was fine for a while, when I could do it ALONE. So one day last week I was getting my workout on! I had the Hello Kitty radio with my LMFAO cd playing and I was really getting into it. Then Dan came home with the girls. In a great effort to lose this weight I just kept going. And for those of you that know me, know that our house is REALLY small! Our living room is just not meant for me to be working out in with everyone home watching. So, Dan is standing there just watching trying to wait till I am done. Avery is to my right dancing her ass off and Addison is just staring, im sure trying to process what the hell I am doing. And then it happened! A picture actually fell off the wall! Everyone is looking around trying not to make me feel bad, Avery goes "Mom, a picture fell of the wall" And then I knew it was time to get a gym membership.
So, this would bring me to yesterday. I got up and felt really good about heading to the gym but then I think to myself. I have nothing I can wear in public. Head to Walmart to get some of those really cute workout pants. Yea... not such a cute look for me, and I cant find a shirt that is big enough. I start getting frustrated and just want to head home, but then I tell myself this is why you are doing this so you can have shirts that fit. I just pick out some pants and remember that I have a shirt on that I could wear. So buy the pants and a new sports bra, and some new headphones because there are rumors of tvs on the treadmills, and head on my way. While driving over I remember that I have not had anything to eat today. How am I going to do a workout without any food. Once again ready to head home and give up, I decide to swing though McDonalds. I know this is not a good option, but I did good and just got a yogurt and a grilled chicken wrap. Still not the best but I really just wanted to scarf down ten Bic Macs. Sitting in the car eating before going into work out is just as stupid as it sounds. But I knew that I would have to have some food to continue. Walk into the gym with my Walmart sack of all my new things. And think to myself the number one thing you should have bought was a gym bag because I know that I looked like a fat person that just joined a gym in Jan because of the new year. I mean thats what I am lol. Ill get the bag before I go back, Boost my confidence a bit, Get changed, take off my sweat shirt only to relize I have three huge stains on this shirt. Well its the only shirt that I have, so I must continue. A last I see the TVs on the treadmill and go directly towards them. Get on start walking and a guy comes to get on the one next to me. I say to him, only because I feel so uncomfortable oh were you using this one. Im so sorry I can get off lol... well no he isnt using this one. Thats why he got on the one next to me. To use that one. So he gets started and his isnt working and all the others are full. And once again because I have three huge stains on my shirt and pants that are a little to tight and a Walmart sack to hold my stuff in I go oh is yours not working? You can have mine, Ill get off and you can have this one back. What in the hell is wrong with me, He just said that he didnt have that one and now I am offering to give mine up completly. Almost because I felt like he was more deserving of a workout because he had been doing it for so long, and he had a gym bag, And looking back on the situation im pretty sure that I was probably screaming because I had my cool new pink ear buds in. Ugggg make it though the workout and now its time to tan. And this tanning bed could not be anymore anti fat if it tried. Get ready, get in the bed, pull the top down and it doesnt adjust. Its just all or nothing. The top of the bed is pretty much touching my boobies. Im just very thankful that tanning is something you get to do alone. Come out. Gather my Walmart sack and hold my head high and head home.
And here I am today writing this, getting myself all worked up thinking that I have to do this all over again. But I will, and this time I dont have to wear a stained shirt, and I can find a bag thats cool. I will do this day in and day out until I am able to get to my goal weight!
To everyone else doing the same thing just keep trucking along! We will get there!
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